4 more hours, and its a brand new year.
and here i am celebrating with pizza and coke zero!
hurray!
all alone this new year eve! how exciting!
wuuu huuuuu!
wow, can't wait!
happy new year everyone.
happy new year to me!

古语长说，

“有得，必有失”。

那我在想，

“有失，是不是必有得？”

有人能给我答案吗？
我心里的答案是，
可能。
但，不一定有得。
可能永远都失去，也永远得不到新的。

this Christmas,
i had no testis nor smses from anyone wishing me
merry christmas.
this new year eve i doubt i wont have any wishes as well.

well,
happy new year 2008 every one.
its been a very interesting year for me.

i am thinking what can i do in that 12 lonely days.
i don't think i will spend most of my time with that friend as it will be awkward.
i just hope that vishal will call and ask me to work for them.

this is my crapping place, SO DEAL WITH IT!!

choices

still awake right now, although i know i have to wake up very early tomorrow morning.
maybe just 2 hours sleep is enough.
i choose to stay awake and do stuffs.
such as?
such as, reading people's blog,
thinking of the choices they had made,
surfing the net,
watching funny videos on youtube,
chatting with friends,
roaming around in friendster and facebook.
or i call it, "friendstering and facebooking".

the clock is still ticking,
but i am not sleeping.
haha, and i heard the guy living opposite me coughing.
maybe its time for him to wake up.
but then i am still a wake.

why am i still awake?
cause i was thinking, thinking about the choices that i had made.
think about it, i really made some very wrong choices, and some right choices.
and then i think why people can easily make a decision.
for example,
you love that person very much,
but you choose to break up with them because of some situation,
then you get sad,
and you made the person more sad,
and then suddenly the whole world is sad because the ones that love you and that person feels bad for you and the person.
why do human make things so complicated?
why can't we live a simple yet happy life?
rather than a complicated and sad life?
why earn so much money when you don't have happiness?
why live in a place where loneliness is all around you?
why live in such expensive studio apartment when you are not rich?
can money really buy friendship and happiness?


this few questions made me awake till now.
and i still cant find the answer.
and the thing that saddens me is,
my piggy bank is getting slimmer,
lost a lot of weight.
"we're going downnn, reruriruround, and sugar we're going down swinging".
i am bad at remembering lyrics.
and i don;t bother to find the right lyrics,
i like singing that way.
another sleepless night.
going to get fucked when i go back to malaysia.
cause i have to wake up early.
hate it hate it hate it.


happy boxing day and happy new year 2008,
that is in case i won't write in these few days,
which i think its impossible cause i am jobless, and have nothing to do.

merry christmas!

i would to wish myself merry Christmas,
and to my family and friends,
and to everyone.

i still like this template.
i like sticking with things that i like.
i think i'll change it when i really find something i really like.
not just something i like.
or when someday i get bored of it.
which i think i wont.
cause i just love those... those balls.
i'm not sure what creature are those.


just a last complain before Christmas ok?
life has been really lonely here in perth.
i miss them so much.
i really really, sincerely miss them.
just that.
do they miss me.
well,
i'm pretty sure they do.

i'm angry.
but i hate to voice out my anger.
i'm sad.
but i hate to cry out loud.
all i can do is spit it out here.
the only place where i can voice out,
the only place where i can cry out loud,
and cruse like hell.

i'm not writing for people to know how do i feel.
i'm not writing to get attention.
i am writing to release stress and anger.
i am writing to express my joy and happiness.

what makes me angry today?
first of all, a best friend of mine got dump by a stupid guy.
second, i hate people controlling me. i know what i am doing.

i havent cry for a very long time.
the last time i cried out was when my dog died.
rocky.
the news was very sudden for me.
nope, i'm not crying now.
just tears rolling down.
not crying.

i deserve what i have.
i do.
i am not proud of myself.
nope, I'm not.
i want to be successful.
its a long and hard way.
but i want to reach it.
i will work hard to achieve it.
and i will always remind myself.
that laziness is a killer.
new year is near.
i hope its a new beginning for me.
and for everyone.
from tmr onwards.
i will be hard working.
ganbate!
nothing can stop you if you really want to do it.


i love my blog.
i feel better now.
good night.
sleep tight.
and Merry Christmas.

watching this makes me feeling like dancing!

i woke up this morning,
with my lights still on,
i try to stay awake till late,
but i think i was too tired,
i didn't realize i fell asleep.
i had a very weird feeling when i wake up,
i feel like i am living in a very hollow world
a very hollow and lonely world.

then i sat up, and think.
maybe i have experienced enough,
that now i want to go back to where i came from.
i am a positive thinker. or i used to be one.
but yet sometimes,
somethings really hit your hard,
that you will somehow turn into a negative thinker,
unconsciously.

i asked my friend, what is she looking forward to?
she said. nothing. then i said to myself, there must be something i would be looking forward to.
then i asked myself what am i looking forward to?
i said immediately. My family and friends.

then i asked myself again.
after you graduate, what are you looking forward to?
i thought for a while.
then i answered myself, again.
job, a new life. and most of all, leaving this isolated city.

how about friends? i asked myself.
i answered, i can have a lot of friends,
but the most important thing is how to maintain friendships.
i am not a good maintainer.
but i will try to learn how to me one.

cant do it anymore!
warning!
must have self control!
or else you have to self exclude yourself!

i will put the blame on perth.
why?
because there are limited activities for night life.

life is so fucking unfair
people work like a ant,
and beg like a dog just to get a fucking opportunity.
but some people just have all the luck in the world,
wondering nothing and got that opportunity.
that is so fucking unfair.
so fucking, fucking unfair!
say i am jealous or whatever!
i still think its fucking unfair.
what is fair is this world?!!!!

when life is so unfair!!
so fucking unfair!

i'm back from my first day of work?
how was it?
tired, but good.
but will i work again there?
that is if they give me functions to do,
i will.
i would.
i definitely want to!
but my arms are crazily soar.
and my back is soar like hell.
and my name to the day is VOOH.
funny right?
yes, funny
saw the crazy lion lying crazily today.
haha, but its very cute.
i took the opportunity to serve inside the house and look at it.
cute lion!

i lost hope but i haven't give up!

I'll be back again for revenge!
you gave me hope,
and took it away!
even though i lost my hope,
i still haven't give up.
cause i have time.
and when i come back,
you'll see! you'll see...

i spend the whole crazy night in the freaking casino with jennifer,
we were dog tired when we were on our way on this morning.
a crazy night to remember,
for the rest of our lives.
we had fun though,
and i kept stopping jennifer for being greedy!
thats all thats all
and i am going home soon.
can't wait to go home to taste good food
and meet my family and friends!
woooohoooo
fuck the job in spotless.
they are so.. spotless.
no one can spot them.
cause they are spotless.

我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！
我要，我希望，快快开工！

我要，我希望 我要，我希望，快快开工！

Please?

feel like crap

what goes around, comes around.
seriously,
i bought a new pair glasses,
i stick with the new pair glasses,
at first i did switch glasses every once a while,
but sooner,
and i place the old one a side,
one day the old pair of glasses had a crack,
because i dropped it on the floor,
and didn't pick it up,
one day i couldn't find that pair of old glasses.
i try finding everywhere,
i tried my best,
but the old pair of glasses didn't appear,
i really did appreciate that pair of old glasses,
the times we were together,
that pair of glasses helped me a lot,
we went through ups and downs,
but in the end,
i still lost that pair of old glasses.

it's my fault
i admit,
I'm sorry.


a flower and a pair of glasses made me sad and disappointed,
the story of the flower?
maybe some other day,
when i feel better.

“人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺”

突然间我很想用华语来表达我自己。
朋友啊，总是来来去去。

好想念好朋友们
因为和他们在一起，很快乐！
可惜，可惜，
可惜每个人走的路，都不一样。
有些在直线，突然要弯右。
有些要弯左。
有些要U-TURN，
在这一路上，
我们碰到很多石头，一起跌倒，然后一起爬起来，
有些朋友路过之后，再也碰不到了。
有些呢，就怎么走到哪里，都碰到。好烦哦。
但是呢，一旦没碰到了之后呢，好想念哦。
人啊，就是一只很不懂得珍惜的动物。
当人学会懂得珍惜的时候， 往往都太迟了。挽救不会了。
也只能够惭愧， 和后悔！

i got a job,
woooohooooo!
i met spud in a shop,
wooooohooooooo!
i lost big bucks in the casino!
and it doesn't rhythm does it.
who cares!!!

today is someone's lucky day
and my unlucky day
don't ask me why
i don't want my heart to bleed again.
bloody fool.

when nothing works right,
everything went wrong.

all my dreams are hard to achieve.
am i walking on the right path?
i am so sick of discrimination, and bullying here.
i want to go back where i belong.
somewhere where i have all my confidence in me.

would you rather stay in a beautiful palace with discrimination
or
would you rather stay in a simple little house with happiness?



i have dreams
but do i have the right dreams.
i have made my decisions,
but are my decisions right.

all of a sudden a huge rock knock on my head.
i am awake now.
and worried as well.
am i doing whats best for myself.
or am i running away from everything else.

i realize life is kinda terrifying
especially when your road is getting near to the society.
its really scary.
sometimes it freaks me out.
and my mind won't stop thinking,
"what am i going to do"
until i go into my dreams, where everything will be solve
but once i wake up, everything is unsolved,
but its ok, cause by then i am not so freaked out anymore.

i think, this is part of growing up too.
i am scared of growing up. i really am.
i wish i was always a little kid.
a little naive kid who only knows the beautiful part of this world.

life is short

yes, indeed. you can disappear any moment. who know.
so i tend to try everything.
i tried to sun bath.. to be tan
but i couldn't
i couldn't stand the heat.

maybe some other day.. i'll try again.
gosh i am sweaty.
ciaoz, going to take my shower.
geez.

horrible feeling

i am having a horrible feeling inside me.
i don't know what it is.
maybe something horrible will happen.
or maybe something horrible wont happen because i felt it.
who knows.
still cant find any jobs yet
probably going back to Malaysia earlier
time flies, like a F1 racing car.
phhhhhewwwwrrr~ just a glance.
if you miss it,
you'll have to wait for the next round for that glance again.
5 months gone.
just like that.
what good did i do within this 5 months?
nothing i guess, except spending more money, shopping.
i cant remember how many jobs did i applied.
countless.
the figure is more than my fingers and toes.
that's all i know.
*sigh


By the way.
shud i change my blog's music? any opinion guyz?
cause the song's title is 很难。which means. very difficult.
maybe i shud change it to very easy. keke. just kidding.
no seriously, shud i change it.
hmmm....
*sigh.

dead jelly fish

Jen and i went for a walk yesterday.
we walked to the river side where we discovered a lot of dead Jelly fish there. on the way to the river side, those freaking flies kept following us. the funny thing is that the flies love our face, our lips, our nose, and our ears. i think they want to be eaten. there were many times i nearly ate or breath a fly into my mouth and nose. stupid freaking flies. i will kill all of you. i know why Brisbane has so much frogs now. i want a frog too.

anyways, we picked to sticks to poke those dead jelly fish, to feel how jelly fish really feels like. well, of course it feels like jelly, thats why its call jelly fish. we poked them up and they smell awful and gross. there were slimy liquid flowing out from their body. grossss.

on the way home, we passed by the church again and an old man came out and chat with us. he told us the history about the church. it used to be an boys orphanage, now its a aboriginal college. we wanted to ask about the grave yard( Michael bowman) but he walked away. oh well, next time maybe. oh and the church is not been used anymore. such a pity as it is a very nice church.

we were naughty too, we stole lemons and roses. and the stupid dog kept barking at us. this time we stole 4 lemons, and 10 roses. kekeke.

the true me. or not.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. With respect to money, you spend carefully and save your pennies. You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities. The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

well i personally think that some are right, some are not. teeheee. bought 3 pairs of shoes today. and a cheap top. laundry day as well. went to have dimsum with jennifer, jimmy, and irene. after dim sum we went to harbor town to shop shop shop! hehehe.^^

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?

new shit, same smell.

i have to make a decision whether to hunt for job or go back to malaysia. i've been hunting jobs for quite long, and when it was finally someone hired me i decided to stick with it. i was happy to get that job as well. today's presentation went well, maybe because i have showned Paul what i had yesterday, yesterday's comment was quite harsh comparing today. anway Paul thinks its better comparing today, he asked me whether i changed anything. well, i did nothing last night, except the calculation of the production cost and media cost.

End of semester. the road of stepping into the society is getting nearer and nearer.
well, i am giving hope on the library job, as well as the 2 restaurants that i had applied this morning. hopefully i get it. its true when you are helpless and depressed, there's only 1 person you can turn to, thats god. i believe god is something to motivates you. when you lost all hope, god is there to motivate you to find your hope again. that's my opinion.

many people ask me why i have all the time to write on the blog. well, its because i am bored in perth, and it is also a record of how i felt. recently i mixed with more friends, rather than just 1 in the beginning. however, i really appreaciate the company of that friend. she was the one who was with me when i had ups and downs. i feel better now in perth comparing the time when i was new here.

to go home early or not to go. this is the question. i'll wait for the library's reply and if they reject my applicantion then i will just fly back. but seriously, i really would like to work in the library. seriously. i'm very serious.

i am a Leo. and Leo is always eager to win. so here's it.
i did research on how many groups of Christians are they. anyway
the most recognized ones are

• Anglicans,
• Roman Catholics,
• Methodists,
• Baptists,
• Brethren,
• Orthodox,
• Quakers,
• Presbyterians and
• Mennonites to name a few well known groups. These groups share a great number of beliefs and all try to live like Jesus.

so there we go. people who doesn't know well about Christianity usually lumps up them as "Christian".

that's all i have to say.

hot cold

today.


HOT-walked to the library

COLD- in the library

HOT- walked to karawara for lunch

COLD- in the restaurant

HOT-walked back to the library

COLD- in the library

= HEADACHE now

blue blue sky

the sky was so blue today. it makes me happy to see the clear blue sky with not even a single cloud. and the little moon there too. feel like laying on the grass and reading something interesting. but my backyard's grass is so long and so poky. and i have nothing interesting to read.
some other day maybe. :D.

interesting evening.

when i was on the way home from the library today, i saw lots of smoke "nearby" my house in bentley hillview. so i guess it's near, i called jennifer and told her there's a fire going on and do you wanna walk there too see?

she said yeah why not. so 2 8 po zai went walking to the fire scene. as we were walking, we kept guessing wad was on fire, and we followed the smoke. it looks near but it was very far from us. but we kept saying, oh we're near, we're near. i guessed a residential house was on fire, Jennifer guessed a Chinese restaurant was on fire. and then we walked further and further. from Bentley to Victoria park. we even could see the city from vic park. anyway we took 30 minutes to reach the fire scene and saw some helicopters above us. i guessed its 7 news. and when we were about to reach the fire scene, we saw ABC news van. and i reckon it was live. anyway, when we reached there, i think everything was about to end. we were standing there, guessing which factory was on fire, and we saw lots of fire engine. oh, forgot to mention when we were on our way to the scene, i was asking Jennifer why is fire engine call fire engine and ambulance call ambulance? Jennifer said fire engine is call fire engine maybe its because it has the e o e o sound. then i said ambulance has it too. so jennifer said ambulance should be called health engine, and i think police cars should be called police engines. i know... not funny. :D

where were we? oh.. fire engines. yes, the lights was so beautiful and the smoke from the factory was yellow in color. we over heard the fire inspector asking the police man which one is the owner. so we knew whose the owner, and the owner hop on the police car and went to the police station to log a report i guess. managers and staffs were standing under tree. i guess those staff had a fun time enjoying, chatting and not working tomorrow!

we even took pictures of ourselves in the scene. looks stupid though. haha, by the time we arrived there, busy body people were about to leave. even the police man said to us, "its boring now eh, its was more interesting before". hahaha. i guess he knew we came to busy body too. finally everything ended and Jennifer and i decided to take a bus back cause it was late. what a day. we witness things that not all people see everyday. hehe.

these hands of mine~

i had nothing better to do yesterday night, so i played with wax. candle wax. and i made my hands out of it. cool right? i had a fun time doing it, even though its a little hot. haha.

had been sick recently. my sickness include fever, and laziness. i had fever 2 nights in a row. i wonder whats wrong. i am perfectly fine during daytime but it always come before my bedtime. funny. anyway, except doing 2 of my radio ad which i have 4 to go, i did nothing in the pass few days. damn!

had a walk with jennifer yesterday, and we found tennis balls and picked it home. hehe... i gave xing rui 1 and she cooked dinner for me. such a nice person. i hope that her love is not a con man. -_-'''

i am uncle tobying everyday, cause i am lazy to cook. everytime cooking the same old thing. got bored with it. pasta, curry with rice, indo mee, korean mee, chef hong mee, pizza...
so bored with it. i would go out to have dinner though, of course with the right person. not just some one you don't know. you'll feel awkward.

have to go now. having a good mood today, thats why i'm not scolding anyone. : )

does friendship last forever?

let me see, i had a lot of friends during elementary school

a lot in middle school

getting less in high school

getting even less in Uni

but then, i found friends that treat me as what i am.
i don;t have to lie or act to be cool.
why shud i? this is me.
if you like me, join me.
if you don't, then fuck off



today is " old pals chat again day".
suddenly i felt like talking to my middle school mates.
they are having different lives at different places now.
some are in china, some are in uk, some still in malaysia, some are in australia.
and some has big dreams, some like to live a simple life, some remains like a jerk.
and of course time did change who they are now. some are still the ones i knew, some are not the ones i knew before. changes are not bad, its good.

i know i changed. i am not that stupid little girl who lies to be cool and act to be cool, fight to be cool, curse to be cool. nope. thats, not me anymore.

i'm starting to be more honest. at least, i am being myself now. cause i found myself.

i hope everyone find themselves too, and stop imitating people just to be cool. thats so uncool.
seriously*

the worm

the laziness came out again. i'm lazy voo again. why am i so lazy?

i'm lazy to clean my room, lazy to cook, lazy to do assignments, lazy to do everything.

-LAZY-
is
killing
me.

lets


kill


lazy



the


worm.

Wish upon a Crane!

had a fun day volunteering today, hate kids but had to entertain them, and hate naive spoil teenagers who are stupid and dumb and tries to cheat but still thinks that they are cute.

anyway. bla bla bla. will upload the pictures tmr cause my internet usage is low for this month. over used it.
(nextday)
*in the library now,


bored. lotsa assignments to do. feel like throwing everything away, but i'm half way. don't feel like turning back. cant turn back thou.

feel like swearing and cursing to everyone.

*sigh

no life.
good bye.

Fuck it!

you know sometimes i just don't understand people

if you wanna say fuck it, or fuck you or any fuck word. Just write it or say it. FUCK

why do you have to censored it? Fxxk it. What like after you censored it i won't know how to spell it!

You have gutz to say it but don't have the gutz to type it out? Bull SxxT?

FUCK YOU GUYZ THAT CENSORed FUCK!
ITS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE CENSORed! NOTHING SHUD BE CENSORed! THE ONLY THING THAT WE SHUD CENSOR IS GEORGE BUSH AND PEOPLE WHO CENSORed THE WORD FUCK!

i found a book

its no ordinary book. it's a Italian Literature book from 1851! i was wondering around in the library and i found it. cool eh? i think its cool!

today. hehe*blush*.
hazel and i blablabla... then i wanted to go to the toilet after hazel left, and he sat so far. so i went to him to ask him to keep an eye of our laptops. and he actually moved next to me~*blush*

nothing in this world can stop us tonight, i can do what she can do so much better! hua la la la-*singing happily*


hmm...
so childish! *blek

wrong person

suddenly i remember something funny happened last friday. Hazel and i were walking towards a store selling noodles i guess, and the guy selling noodles was waving at me,

then as we walk nearer, i heard him telling his friend "oh, 认错人" ( he waved to a wrong person).
then i started laughing.
but i dun think its very funny now, i thought it was pretty funny just now , so people who finds it funny, thank you, people who don't. you have to at least smile and tell yourself its funny.:D

New puppy name PATCHI^^

My sis adopted a puppy in SPCA today without my mum's knowledge,
well she is going to be shocked when she comes home today.

the picture isn't very clear because i took it when i was web caming with my sister.

Many asked how i feel, well i am happy that we got a new puppy, but i still miss both of them. see how adorable are they? after a ulgy hair cut! haha. but they love the process cause they love people touching them.


Rocky, brownie i still miss you guyz, i still cant believe you are not there anymore.
love you guys forever. Look after your new brother ok?

feeling goooood

Jennifer and i went to support the Burma protest today in Supreme Court Garden today. the content is very inspiring and it was really touching to see so many people actually care. i hope that this would end as soon as possible as many got killed in this incident.


I was thinking that the protest is something are marching down the street but its more like a rally. anyway after everything, we went to a japanese restaurant to have our lunch. was so hungry!

then when we head home, we heard church bells and thought that someone just got married, i took a picture of their limousine.


Later Hazel and i went down to the riverside and walk along the riverside. lovely place, i think we should go there more often.

we actually walked from Victoria park station to North Bridge for dinner. Hazel was having hay-fever, blowing her nose all the way, i call her a portable Wonton maker. hahaa




Pass by the Swan bell tower, its near riverside. and we walked down to hay street and to murray street and reached north bridge.

went to a malaysian restaurant for dinner, the food was ok. Big portion though.
Had a nice day roaming around in perth. thanks guyz for the company.

pasar malam night!

went to the library to use the unlimited fast internet. Nope, he wasn't there. Bla bla bla.. waited till 3 o'clock, Hazel called me and we headed to the recording studio to record her voice for my radio ad. thats hazel thinking she is some singer singing because of you. :p her singing sucks. wahahaha, hope she doesn't read this!


Then we went home cause hazel has to do some big business in her toilet. I went home and i thought no one was home. as usual i started talking to myself while washing up my dishes, then i saw some nail polish on the living room table, and then suddenly a leg pop out from the living room. that was elise, of course. she really freaked me out.

oh, i went to pay the Gas bill as well. and i steamed sweet potato but didn't finish it cause it was too big and too much.

at 6 pm, hazel and i headed to the Pasar Malam in curtin. Its cultural week, so they had all sort of days, like american day, asia day....etc.

we bought quite a lot of food, and enjoyed the shows. i think the wasamia drums and the lion dances was awesome. and we hated the MC. she sucks!


the lion dance, was so cute, cause they approach the audiences. freak some kids out. hahaha, the picture is not so clear, cause my camera phone sucks.



this is the colorful wasamia drummers. they were awesome.
sorry, not a very clear picture as well.


the uncle who cha(s) the keow tiew!

Had a great night, we were searching for hazel's nephew all night. but i think he didn't come. and never ever take the courtesy bus back again! seriously!

Bodoh saya!

Saya tak tahu nak cari siapa untuk buat recording untuk advertising saya. sakit kepala.
Lama tak guna Bahasa Malaysia, oleh itu saya nak guna bahasa malaysia setiap bulan, satu article.

sekarang saya dalam library, bosanya kerana orang it tak ada di sini. tidak boleh pergi tandas sebab tak ada orang boleh tengok saya punya laptop. Kesianya. Hari ini saya ada book recording room, tapi tak dapat orang tolong saya. saya fikir saya nak minta tolong orang jepun tu, Owen. Tapi dia tu selalu tak senang. Tak tahu macam mana lah.

Bosanya di sini. saya punya bahasa melayu macam crap. saya tahu saya mengguna Broken B.M tapi at least saya sedang practicing BM saya.

Bagus lah, selain orang indon dan orang malaysia, tak ada orang faham. hahahaha!

tapi saya tidak pasti orang indon faham atau tidak. susah lah.

sometimes and all the time.

sometimes when i feel boring, i feel lonely too.

sometimes when i feel lonely, i pity myself.

sometimes i wonder whether its my problem.

sometimes i think that i'm not a good person, neither a nice one.

sometimes i totally have no confidence in me

sometimes i think its because i am not attractive enough.

sometimes i think thats because why.

i'm alone all the time,

i try to think positive all the time,

i try to consider others first all the time,

i try to treat people nice all the time,

i try to look good all the time,

i try to be friendly all the time,

i try to contact my old friends all the time,

i love to hang out more with people all the time.

i talk crap all the time.

but this time i am not.

write on the blog when i am sad all the time

cause the blog is only the place where i can express my happiness, loneliness, and sadness.

good night blog, i had a lonely night again.

being a volunteer

Today Jennifer, Jamie and i went to join Curtin Volunteer to be a volunteer on 12th November, helping leukemia children to rise fund. I go a t-shirt from them. i love collecting t-shirt as it is a remembrance, i have a few t-shirts at home which has sweet memories, especially the Chinese Orchestra ones.

I think i will join the protest on Saturday in Supreme court garden in the city to support the monks and citizens in Burma.

It will be my first time joining a protest. It feels good to be a volunteer or supporting people. Feels like you are doing something good.

erm... the person i used to meet in the library... *sigh..* i think the person is not *available* anymore. just guessing. i'm soooo hungry now.. have to go to record jen's voice later at 3pm.
ごごさんじ！

before going to record jen's voice. That person asked me to look after his laptop.
(That's a snap when he went some where, haha. he moved next to me to look after my laptop after i went away ^^(^o^)^^.)

And when its 3, i approach him to ask what time is he leaving = ) yeah, and after doing the recordings, jen and i were talking about some ghost stories in the recording lab, sounds pretty freaky inside cause its so quiet!

anyway when i went back to the library, i said thank you to him, i'm not sure whether i heard it right, but i heard him said "Welcome back". then i was kinda shocked... hahaha... welcome back! omg. anyway, he is kinda cute, but i think he is not available anymore, as he looks like he has a gf. just guessing, hope my instincts is not that accurate!

i was so hungry, my stomach was so noisy, i had to leave early. so when i was packing, if i am not wrong, he was looking at me while i packed. and he said good bye to me... omg!!!!!!
before i left i said bye bye to him as well....hahaha~

Goodbye

我怕我没有机会
跟你说一声再见
因为也许(就)再也见不到你
宁愿我要离开
熟悉的地方的你
要分离
我眼泪就掉下去
我会牢牢记住你的脸
我会珍惜你给的思恋
这些日子在我心中永远都不会抹去
我不能答应你
我时候会再回来
不回头
不回头的走下去



This song reminds me of all my friends.
When we leave them, we won't wonder when we can meet again.
and as time goes by, we might forget each other, but totally forgotten them.
some you might have a chance to contact them, some will disappear forever.

So appreciate the time you spend, as if there is a day to part, you won't know when will you meet again. as i wont know when will i meet you again too. but i know i won't meet my dogs again. but i will always remember them in my heart, just like i remembered all the friends i had in my heart. although we don't contact. but every single one of you are still in my heart.

the ulgy beautiful world

this is hazel doing her work, this is the sit where i used to sit next to someone.

the flowers was taken when i was having my evening walk with hazel. its so beautiful, but beauty doesn't last long, one day it will turn ulgy and no one will like it anymore.

i have new neighbors next to me, and they have a dog, call "spud".

he is a cute dog, and overweight too. he reminds me of rocky. till now i still can't believe rocky is not here anymore.just thinking he is still at home, sleeping in his cage. always welcoming us back, happily hitting his tail on the gate. sometimes barking at us, greeting us.

i hope he went peacefully as brownie too. rest in peace rocky, and brownie. will love you guys always.

terrible news

my sister told me that my other dog died yesterday! it was too sudden to me, i thought she was lying. but then when she said that my mother cried too, i knew it was not a lie. i burst out into tears.. scream ... and shocked to know the news. Rocky was very healthy! as what they told me! they brought him to the vet and the veteran said he was ok! what happen?

my mum did explained to me why he died, apparently he was sad after brownie passed away. he hadn't been eating for the pass few days. When my father came back from penang yesterday he couldn't find Rocky, when he found him, he was lying in the bushes dead. Then my father called my mum to tell her the news, and when my mum came home, Rocky was already buried.

my mum did asked me whether they should get a new dog. my mum said the dogs had been with us for so many years, and she thinks its time for a break, and its too soon for a new dog. i agreed.

rest in peace, brownie and rocky. hope you guys meet in heaven, and meet bersy there too. love you guys. farwell.

Job Hunting Day

when down town with hazel for her interview today, walked a lot while waiting for her. got tired, sat down and took some pictures. roam around to see whether any shops are hiring. got bored and tired and gave up job hunting. After an hour hazel finally came out and we went to a cheap japanese restaurant for lunch. after that we asked a few shops whether they are hiring, most of their answers are "send your resume in and the head office will process it". later we headed to myers to look for the fragrance diffuser. Then it started to rain. Weirdos were shouting everywhere. so many of them, feel like smacking them. Anyway, there were a flock of seagulls outside myers, some of them were enjoying swimming in the pool of water. they seem having fun. i wish i could join them.
reached home around 5 something, i kept thinking of my photography. anyway i got some ideas from CSI. and i started shooting my photos, playing with the blood i did yesterday. Made Ellice to be my model again today. The bloody hand i call it!
Is it scary? i hope it is.