在看夏恋38度，

戏中是两女爱一男。
女配角嫉妒女主角的要死。
然后想尽办法的引男主角的注目。

女配角的心情我真的能体会。
只是我的戏里出现两男一女。 而那个一女是女配角。
悲哀~~~~

seriously. fuck my life.

the cartoon that i hate the most would be toy story.

the character i hate the most would be sheriff woody.

one activity i hate the most would be gambling. 

one car i hate the most would be wira

one sports i hate the most would be swimming.

one food i hate the most would be ipoh tiger brand heong bang. 

one..... i hate the most.... would be.....

too much to remember nor to forget. 

i hated it so much that, every time when i repeat doing or seeing these things, memories comes back.

good ones and bad ones.

no i don't want to walk back to the path that i hurt and cried the most. 

yes we were happy together once. but things changed and we are not who we were then. 

its not that i hate toy story. its not that i hate sheriff woody. 

its that i try to hate them so that i feel better and think i will get over it. 

but instead i felt terrible. i feel that i am a horrible person with a horrible temper. 

a friend said that i don't like explaining thats why people tend to misunderstood me. 

but if you are my friend then you will know what kind of person i am. i get misunderstood all the time. 

i am very lazy to explain. because explaining means you dont know me well. 

 

for example 

A's birthday is today and we planned to have dinner some where, but decision has not been made by everyone. so B said hey why not have some korean food instead. CDEHGHIJK said ok! den E come calling me saying where are we having the korean food at?o.0?  and C came  asking me where was the korean food that we had last time. so so i told C that its at hartamas. and everyone agreed to go there, however since A and B and J have been there i told B why don't we find another one, since its little korean village there must be a lot of other korean restaurant. DENG misunderstood. B thought that i don't want to go to the one we went. DENG* bell rings again* G asked why? they want to go and try it out, since most of them never been there before. DENG* J tried to explain saying I said we could find another one there, not necessary we need to go back there to have dinner. DENG* B shuts J up and confirm with me once again whether its best to go to the one we went to before. 

in conclusion: J and B had a little fight, because J tried to explain for me.

and in the end i wonder why did they asked my decision since i went there to company the birthday girl for dinner. 

and i wonder why i can't go as an ass hole asked me why did i joined since i wasn't eating. 

and i wonder why does my question has such a big impact as my suggestion is to switch to a better one. 

in the end i told B go back to the old one. the one we went to before. 

i was touched as J told me she tried explaining to them that that wasn't what i meant. 

however i was pissed as B has the most sucky planning in the whole wide world and yet she insist in planning stuff. 

wow. thats what i guess whats inside me that was there all these while that was making me unhappy. 

of course there is a HELL more than these much. 

seriously. fuck my life. 

 

Going to start a little side business soon.
Hope everything goes well.
Chikiwiki+

Christmas lights

Those Christmas lights
Light up the street
Maybe they'll bring her back to me
Then all my troubles will be gone
Oh Christmas lights keep shining on

Letting go.

I'm enjoying the time now. But I guess when the nightmare comes back. I would have to let go and walk away. Its gonna hurt like heaven soon! :)

City of lights

Looking down the hill many I see.
I see buildings lights and trees
I see many lights shining bright,
I see lovers hugging under the light,
I see cars and buses everywhere,
I see traffic lights from green to red,
I see people laughing people frown,
I see kids running all around,
I see drunk old folks singing out loud,
I see young people in a crowd,

But you weren't inside the frame
Why is that? I yelled your name
but I only heard echoes of myself
Around me there is no one else
Then I finally realized
You finally walked out of my life.

SINGING OUT LOUD when you DOWN!!!

I hate the world today
You're so good to me I know but I can't change

come one guys! to the chorus!!!!

I'm a bitch I'm a lover !
I'm a child I'm a mother
I'm a sinner I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed !
I'm your hell I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
you know you wouldn't want it any other way~~~

ahhh such a released!

=D

good night peeps.

但愿。。。

T.T 有很多事情我都很想做

有很多人我都很想替天行动的打他们

有很多事情我都想象英雄酱解决

但是我的能力有限。

T.T

很多时候都无能为力，

觉得自己真的很没有用。

只能吞下那些悲哀，快乐的做人。 我想她也想我这样， 我想她也明白的。

那么就没写部落格了，

对不起， 你都知道每每我不快乐是都会找你的。

太多的话想对你说， 但是不知从何提起。。。

但愿我的梦想能成真。

但愿你能赶快康复如前。

但愿每个人都快乐健康。

健康很重要。

" do you know that every time she thinks of you, she smiles?"

and do you know that every time when you are not beside me,

i would be thinking where are you, what are you doing,

who are you with, what are you thinking about.

i have a wild imagination.

i would imagine all sorts of negative images.

and i turned to a cigarette to let my imaginations go away.

and did you know that whenever i am with you i would not let you see the ugly side of me.

but most of the time you are not.

therefore you made me a heavy smoker.

and the only way i could quit smoking is whenever i am by your side.

you are the medicine.

do you know that?

i guess not.

yo dude, wtf?

what?

and you think i give a f?

honestly i f too much that i always i pretend i dun give a f.

i am so f-ed up. so what. u think i give a f?

you want me to put out that cigarette but why didn't you put out yours?

i guess i have too much feelings that i cannot express recently,

that makes me depress and pick up smoking, well, alone.

many of my friends know that i am an anti smoker,

i hate smokers until today.

cannot express my feelings as in?

oh, as in i can't really tell anyone close to me how i feel as people close to me knows that person well.

the person i can talk to, i guess doesn't have any interest in knowing what is going on.

so all i can do is keeping it to myself.

and every time i see scenes that hurts me i cannot control my tears.

one night i cried so bad while driving home,

i had to open the windows to let the wind dry my tears.

but my eyes hadn't been dried after i reached home.

i guess too much of these can really make a person get crazy.

therefore i decided to turn to taro cards.

i'll tell you what the taro has to say.

later when i am really to tell.

我有一个小小的心愿，

我有一个小小的心愿，

我想和对的人，

一起躺在山上的草地上，

望着星星，

谈谈心情，

讲讲未来，

说说身边朋友的坏话，（处置关心）

然后继续沉默的望着星星。

找一找天上的星座的位置

然后，累了

慢慢的沉睡，

到凌晨6点起来看日出。

没有手机打扰，

没有面书浏览，

听着草丛里的虫吱吱叫，

享受着凉凉的风吹在我们的脸上。

看完日出， 去喝个早茶，

然后回家休息。

做得到，一点都不难。 难是难在，找不找到对的人一起去享受。

数到十后， 怨气随着气球飞上天消失=D

一切都会变成美好的·

给点时间我，

我相信我放得下的。

加油宝珠！

都变了，

对啦， 人会随着时间而变，

若停留在一个阶段就不会进步的。

看变得好或不好而已。

对我而言， 算不好吧

但是好或不好， 都不能改变什么，

我不认命， 但有时不认命能怎么样？

我不是超人， 我改变不了别人的想法。

随缘吧~ 才会活得自在。

我会一直提醒自己这句话的，

我要变成一个开心人。

不管什么事情发生， 我依然想开心的面对。

正能量，positive thinker ， 我要做一个possitive thinker！

加油宝珠！

今天被人放飞机， 唉，

说我不约人， 约了又放飞机。

做人真难。

能约出来的人都约光，

结果打算睡午觉。

睡午觉的时候又被2个好人打电话吵醒，

真的很他妈的无奈。

一个假期就这样过去。

恩。

its still a mystery people had been guessing why i am so down recently,

i guess people have times when they are really down and there are times when are really happy.

i guess i am still alright, i am down but i am trying to be as happy as i can.

i am trying not to think too much about it.

and i am trying to avoid things.

i am trying to hold back tears everytime i hear the song "impossible"

i try to go home early to sleep as much as i can but i still can't sleep well

i am trying to read books rather to stay online and see things that i don't want to.

i am trying hard,

what more do you want from me?

if it was just a dream,

i would not choose to wake up and stay in that dream.

and if it was just a dream,

how can i feel that it is so real that it touched my heart and soul?

but if it was just a dream,

i would never ever know who you are, and where you are from,

yes, it was just a dream,

oh, it was a beautiful one, but i still had to wake up to face the real world.

and if you say that no, it wasn't just a dream.

then i must be dreaming when you said that.

LOL, No.2 has brought forward for 2 years now,

i guess it'll be in my list forever, until i loose some weight.

speaking of the resolutions i set last year,

i guess the korea trip, was also brought forward to this year,

and guess what? i'm going to korea end of june 2011! Hurray! i achieved it!

salary increment...hmm.... let's not talk about that.

intern for filling.... lets not talk about that either

A: So, how was your 2010 year?

S: Oh! it was great! i had a great year!

A: how great was your year?

1. i went to hong kong,

2. i made more new friends

3. i went to bali

4. i fell

5. i was broken hearted.

6. i stood up.

7. i fell down again

8.i stood up again

9. i went to p.hentian

10. i made more friends.

11. i went to some awesome concerts

12. i lost someone

13. i fell down hard again

A: ahh...i see, what an interesting year.

S: Indeed, that's why the bangkok trip was a time for me to go away for a while.

so what is your 2011 resolution?

well, i am getting older, so here it comes,

1. to buy a house for old age.

2. to spend wise and save for old age

3. to loose weight (carry forward)

4. more holidays ( i'll be going to sri langka, korea and guangzhou this year though）

5. never fall so easily anymore,

6. stay strong! and love my family more!

thats all i want for my year,

i hope that i will have a great one like 2010! but not so tragic haha.

signing off, love peace~

poh chee.

水

水啊， 它有颜色吗？
他除了是液体， 他还是什么？
你看大海的颜色多漂亮， 但是那颜色是属于它的吗？
你看鱼缸的鱼多漂亮， 你有注意到鱼靠水才能活的水吗？
你看到黄河多威猛， 你发现到是泥土+水才能把黄河造成， 但是你只看到的是黄色=泥土

水到哪里就适应到哪里。
它靠近什么就变什么颜色。
它也不会逗留在一个地方， 它会蒸发，会流走。

但是地球没有水就不能活。
你想变成一个没有你不能活，但是他却看不到你的好的东西吗？

i have never been so sad since a very long time.
this time it really hurts.
i won't mention why cause its pointless.
normally i will forgive very fast.
but this time its really hard.
and i am very disappointed in you.
but as i said.
never asked for any returns if you are the one who is willing to do it.
and the ones that you care less are the ones that care about you the most.
i blame myself.